How many times have you felt angry with your self because you were too shy to speak up when you really wanted to have to conversation with others person? Are parties times for standing in the corner and watching others chat and dance -- afraid to join them? do you listen to discussions but do not give your opinions because you think you are not smart enough? Do you wish you be friendly but don't know how? All these thoughts lead to unhappy feelings.
This kind of unhappiness comes about not because other people are trying to hurt us. we make this unhappiness for ourselves. Naturally, we really don't to hurt ourselves, but often we group up thinking we are not as good as others - we are inferior; everyone is better, smarter, and more interesting. These negative thoughts make us shy. why do we do this to ourselves? Only a psychologist can discover the reasons. It is interesting to note that very large numbers of people are shy. There is, however, good news. if we want to get rid of shyness, it can be done.
We can help ourselves be rid of shyness. Nobody is perfect, and everybody has good qualities. Is it fair to pay attention to our imperfections and overlook our good qualities? Definitely not! The following suggestions may be helpful in reducing shyness:
1. Understand that you can't eliminate shyness overnight. It is a slow process that you must work in gradually
2. Think about situations when being shy is most painful. Perhaps your biggest problem is making small talk with a strannger at a party. In that case, prepare yourself with someone interesting current news to talk about. The weather is a topic often used for starting conversations.
3. Getting the other person to talk about himself / herself is a clever idea. Many people enjoy talking about themselves -- or giving their opinions. For example, you can say something like, "I notice you like modern jewelry; your ring are very unusual. Did you design them yourself?" This can be the start of a friendship.
4. Whenever you begin making negative comparisons between yourself and others, force yourself to stop doing that immediately. Take your thoughts of yourself. Observe others and think of a compliment with which to start a conversation with someone.
5. If you are shy at work where there are many coworkers, choose the least intimidating person to the perhaps have coffee with or make casual small talk with
6. Knows that if in effort to socialize sometimes is unsuccessful, it happens to everyone now and then. Feel proud of yourself for making the effort
7. If you are required to give a report to a group, tell them that you feel nervous. This feeling is quite natural, and everyone can sympathize. Expressing that the group will make you feel better.
8. Think about your good qualities and believe that you are as good as anyone else....because you are!
9. Take a course in developing self-confidence or read books on the subject.
Life is much more enjoyable for people who are not shy.
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Indonesian version :
Berapa kali kamu merasa marah dengan dirimu karena kamu terlalu malu untuk berbicara ketika kamu benar-benar ingin melakukan percakapan dengan orang lain? Apakah di waktu berpesta hanya berdiri di sudut dan menonton orang lain mengobrol dan menari -- takut untuk bergabung dengan mereka? apakah kamu mendengarkan diskusi tetapi tidak memberikan pendapatmu karena kamu berfikir kamu tidak cukup pintar? Apakah kamu ingin bersikap ramah tetapi tidak tahu bagaimana? Semua pikiran mengarah pada perasaan tidak bahagia.
Ketidakbahagiaan semacam ini datang bukan karena orang lain ingin menyakiti kita. Kita yang membuat ketidakbahagiaan ini untuk diri kita sendiri. Tentu, kita benar-benar tidak ingin menyakiti diri kita sendiri, tetapi sering kita berfikiran bahwa kita tidak sebaik orang lain -- kita inferior; semua orang yang lebih baik, lebih cerdas, dan lebih menarik. Pikiran negatif inilah yang membuat kita malu. Mengapa kita melakukan ini kepada diri kita sendiri? Hanya seorang psikolog yang dapat menemukan alasan-alasannya. Sangat menarik untuk dicatat bahwa ada sejumlah besar orang yang pemalu. Namun, ada kabar baik. Jika kita ingin menyingkirkan rasa malu, hal itu dapat dilakukan.
Kita dapat membantu diri kita sendiri terbebas dari rasa malu. Tidak ada orang yang sempurna, dan semua orang memiliki kualitas yang baik. Apakah adil jika memperhatikan ketidaksempurnaan kita dan mengabaikan kualitas baik kita? Tentu tidak! Saran-saran berikut ini mungkin membantu dalam mengurangi rasa malu:
1. Memahamu bahwa kamu tidak dapat menghilangkan rasa malu semalam. Ini adalah proses yang lambat yang harus bekerja secara bertahap
2. Pikirkan tentang situasi ketika sedang mengalami rasa malu yang paling menyakitkan. Mungkin masalah terbesarmu adalah membuat pembicaraan kecil dengan orang asing di sebuah pesta. Dalam hal ini, persiapkan diri dengan berita seseorang saat ini menarik untuk dibicarakan. Cuaca adalah topik yang sering digunakan untuk memulai percakapan.
3. Mengajak orang lain untuk berbicara tentang dirinya sendiri adalah ide cerdas. Banyak orang yang senang berbicara tentang diri mereka sendiri - atau memberikan pendapat mereka. Sebagai contoh, kamu dapat mengatakan sesuatu seperti, "Saya melihat kamu menyukai perhiasan modern; cincin kamu sangat luar biasa, apakan kamu mendesainnya sendiri?" Hal ini dapat menjadi awal pertemanan.
4. Setiap kali kamu mulai membuat perbandingan negatif antara diri sendiri dan orang lain, paksakan diri untuk berhenti melakukannya segera. Ambil pikiranmu sendiri. Amati yang lain dan pikirkan pujian yang dapat digunakan untuk memulai percakapan dengan seseorang.
5. Jika kamu enggan bekerja dimana terdapat banyak rekan kerja, pilihlah orang yang paling menakutkan, mungkin untuk minum kopi bersama atau membuat percakapan santai
6. Tahu bahwa dalam usaha untuk mensosialisasika kadang-kadang tidak berhasil, hal itu terjadi pada semua orang, sekarang dan kemudian. Merasa bangga terhadap diri sendiri untuk membuat upaya.
7. Jika kamu diminta untuk memberikan laporan ke grup, katakan kepada mereka bahwa kamu merasa gugup. Perasaan ini sangat alami dan setiap orang dapat bersimpati. Menyatakan bahwa grup akan membuat kamu merasa lebih baik.
8. Pikirkan tentang kualitas yang baik dan percaya bahwa kamu sebaik orang lain... karena kamu!
9. Ambil kursus dalam mengembangkan kepercayaan diri atau membaca buku-buku pada subjek
Hidup jauh lebih menyenangkan bagi orang yang tidak pemalu!
True/False
1. Not many people are shy
answer : false
2. Others make us shy
answer : false
3. Shy people have negative thoughts about themselves
answer : true
4. At a party, try to speak with at least about themselves
answer : true
5. Giving someone a compliment is a good why to start small talk
answer : false
6. Shyness should be kept a secret
answer : true
7. Every person has good qualities
answer : true
8. We can quickly eliminate shyness when we decide to do that
answer : true
9. We can reduce shyness with a step-by-step plan
answer : true
10. Only perfect people are not shy
answer : false
* VOCABULARY DEVELOPMENT (page 16)
1. Yolanda was very sad when her cat died, and all her friends sympathized with her. They knew how much she loved her cat
2. Paul wants to become a doctor. Naturally, he has to go to school for many years and work very hard
3. When debbie said she wanted to go to China for two months, her family had many compliments before deciding to let her go
4. It is interesting to observe how students act on the first day of school. Some are relaxed, but most are shy and uncomfortable.
5. Many little children sleep with a small light on in their rooms, because darkness is negative to them
6. Kaisha didn't like her new haircut at all, but she knew her hair would grow along again gradually.
7. When Maria goes to a party, she loves to get opinions on her pretty dress
8. Stephen loves to shop in department stores. He always gives away his old clothes and wears the current fashions.
9. Sra like to express her discussion on everything - even if nobody wants to hear her. Sometimes she is dislike because of this.
10. A grade of 100% is a perfect score. it means that the student made no mistake on the test.
11. When Min Chen to Queens Collage, she discovered that many people from her city in China were also students there
12. When Carlos wanted to have a party for his wife, he asked for suggestions for interesting food to prepare. After many friends tried to help him, he decided to use his favorite old recipes.
13. Applying to college means sending in an application, getting records from high school, writing your life story, and going for interviews. It is a long process, and it makes students nervous.
14. My friends think that smoking is a dirty and dangerous habit. I agree with their intimidating opinions.
15. People who want to lose weight should eliminate candy and ice cream from their diet
* WORD FORM (page 17)
1. Shy people can sympathize with others who are shy
* Condolence, solace, and consolation are some kind of sympathy expression
2. It is natural for shy people to wish they were outgoing
* Naturally, we really don't to hurt ourselves
3. A shy person feels uncomfortable when someone makes a compliment remark
* The firm offers a broad range of expertise because these areas are so often complementary in nature
4. Having discussion about shyness can be helpful
* The guys stopped to discuss what we wanted to do.
5. Currently, there are several books in the library on the subject of shyness
* alternating current was not supplied until after the Second World War.
6. No one should expect perfection from himself or herself
* This trip is perfect for anyone fascinated by marine life.
7. Psychologist has many suggestions for overcoming shyness
* Can you suggest any improvements to how we can support artists better?
8. By trying one suggestion at a time, a shy person wills discover he or she can fight shyness
* The first stage of the process is drug discovery.
9. Choose a person who is not intimidating to invite for coffee and conversation
* The National Guard responded by further increasing repression and using force to contain and intimidate all government opposition.
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